Young Love: The Importance of Being Acknowledged

Note:  This post is not meant--in any way--to vilianize the individuals mentioned in this blog.  Rather, it is meant to enlighten others of the gravity of Young Love, as well as the angst that can potentially stick with someone for many years after that love has been revealed and denied.  This is also MY perspective; others mentioned in this story have not had an opportunity to share their side of it, and may be prompted to upon reading my blog.  I will allow them the chance to share their side of the story if they are open to doing so...

Recently, I spoke with an old high school pal of mine.  He was the most popular young man in my high school; not only was he brilliant, but he was also handsome and well dressed.  In fact, his popularity was cemented in his nomination--as well as in his eventual election--as Vice President of our senior class.

As we spoke to one another, I began to recall all those feelings that I had for him as a high school youth.  I remembered how much I adored this guy, and what I did to gain his attention.  In terms of the latter, I vividly recalled how I requested our school's morning announcement DJ to announce "a special hello to Atonio" from his secret admirer.

Because Atonio and I were in the same class during our school's morning announcements, I got a chance to see his reactions to them first hand.  They would frustrate and annoy him profusely; in fact, after the announcements were ended with that "special hello to Atonio," he would go into this whole charade about how much it annoyed him to hear this unfettered love for him.  I remember how he would say, "Who the H--- is sending me these DUMB messages?!  This is getting on my LAST NERVE...!"

Meanwhile, I would cringe,  but silently chuckle in my seat.  

When he eventually found out that it was me who was sending out those special hello's, he told me that they annoyed him; then he told me to simply stop doing it because he was not interested in me or my "little crush" on him.

I remember how my heart broke; I cried over his insensitivity and carelessness.  It was a pain that stuck with me--even through our years together at the University of Michigan-Ann Arbor.  Nonetheless, it was a pain that I never revealed to him.

Eventually, we lost touch with one another because he moved to Chicago, and I stayed on in Michigan.  However, once I moved to Massachusetts, he took it upon himself to locate me on Facebook and contact me.  When I was notified of his interest to be my Facebook buddy, I was excited, but cautious because I remembered how bad he had hurt me as a high school youth.  Nonetheless, I accepted the invite as a way to challenge myself to be open minded.

Why, oh why did I do that?  He is married to someone that is extremely different than myself [she is white, I am not].  He is still insensitive, insanely competitive, and cold.  When we discussed my past feelings for him, he ridiculed my "childish crush" yet again, and told me that "I had my chance in college" to be with him.  The discourse between us was a temporarily crushing blow to my self esteem.

The reason why I describe our discourse as a "temporarily crushing blow to my self esteem" is because Atonio's and I's discussion helped me come to a profound realization.  Even as children, the feelings we feel for another person are just as real and sincere as the love we feel as adults.  For this reason, it is important to handle the revelation of these feelings with love and consideration.  Further, I realized that even as adults, we can still vividly recall those feelings of flighty love that we felt for our long ago crushes.  Thus, it is important to continually be aware of that, and readily recall those feelings when we interact with today's youth.  This is because--to our youth--those feelings are real. 

For those that fail to realize the depth and realness of these feelings, it is fair to say that perhaps those individuals may never deserve to experience that same kind of undying love and affection for themselves.