Zombies, anyone?

Marvin, J. Zombies, anyone? The a: HR bridge. Associates for Human Resources, P.O. Box 727, Concord, MA 01742.

OVERVIEW

Zombies are described by Marvin as living with a certain deadness or emptiness, unable to know what one really feels and having great difficulty in commitment to relationships—especially marriage. Zombies need to control, tend to deny, and rely on a pattern of fight and flight.

Marvin’s recipe for making zombies follows:

• Get married.
• Have children.
• Add chronic trauma, such as:
  • Chronic, prolonged fighting between parents.
  • Chronic problem drinking or alcoholism with unpredictable or upsetting behavior.
  • Prolonged, slowly developing bitterness and withdrawal between parents.
  • Divorce with continued bitterness.
  • Parental ambivalence in the form of "pleasant" double messages.
    • "I love you; you fail."
    • "Grow up, but depend on/agree with me."
    • "You’re special, but you’re no good."
  • Death of a parent while the child is young.
• "The ESSENTIAL ingredient: DON’T TALK ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING and make sure that the children are to act as though nothing has happened. Any child who wants love and lives in fear and anger will quickly learn to deny and deaden feelings and to reinterpret what happened in order to be acceptable."

ZOMBIE ANTIDOTE

• The will to change.
• An integration of group work interspersed with individual sessions.

IMPLICATIONS

1. Many of those who seek to enter education or social work fields need help in working through such issues.
2. Parents of many of our students exhibit such traits and need special understanding or encouragement.
3. We can facilitate growth and undo some of the damage done to our young people with proper understanding and skills. We can encourage the expression of feelings and the giving up of hindering patterns.

Dean Borgman cCYS