Network News Youth Advisory Board. (1997, June/July/August). "Through the eyes: A special edition showing the world through a teen's eye." Reprinted from Network News: Christians Encouraging One Another (1997, June/July/August). Beverly, MA.

OVERVIEW

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FROM THE EDITOR

This issue is dedicated to the memory of Zachary Rauseo, formerly of Manchester, who took his life just a few months ago. Zachary was a young person probably not unlike a lot of others his age. I believe Zachary had dreams and fears just as we all do. But Zachary's fears got the best of his dreams.

I never met Zachary, but I do mourn his tragic, untimely death. I understand how sometimes the "giving up" option seems a lot more attractive than the "hanging-in" option. I've been there. But I trusted that despair would pass. And it did. I'm so glad I never acted on my turbulent emotions.

To submit to fear, to hopelessness is as much as to tell God, "You are not really in control; thank you very much. Sorry, God-I just can't trust You. My fear is much more real than You...I will obey it instead."

For all of us, adults and youth alike, life is sometimes a heavy burden. But it is our call, our duty, our "spiritual form of worship" to trust that God is able to redeem the most horrible of circumstances. Isn't that the sum of the Cross? We must oppose the fear that leads to despair and eventually to death.

Several young people, ages ranging from 14 to 19, formed a one-time "Youth Advisory Board" to plan, research and create this special issue. With candor they express their fears, their hopes and their love for God and for others, especially their peers. It has been a blessing to Bonny and me to work with them, learn from them and share the love of the Lord with them. -Sarah C. Jones, Beverly

A LOVE LETTER TO OUR FRIENDS

Edited by Katie Jones, 16-Georgetown

The following letter was coauthored by the members of the Network News Youth Advisory Board. They wrote with loved ones in mind, particularly those who grieve, despair or are lonely.

Dear Friend,

I'm sure that sometime in your life you have asked yourself, "What am I doing here?" Maybe you just aren't happy with your family or where you live. Maybe you accomplished something really great which took you to the top of a mountain and, once you got there, you wondered, "What's the purpose of this?" Maybe you made a few mistakes and found yourself at a dead end, hopelessly lost, asking, "Why do I bother to live?"

I know I don't see you much, but when I do, I see God's image stamped indelibly on your unique spirit. It strengthens and inspires me. It makes me all the more want to share with you what's really important to me.

When we were younger, we were so close, such good friends. We did everything together, but as we've grown older, we've grown far apart. I've been wondering why that is. Perhaps it's because I've found the Answer; I'm not searching anymore. I've come to know God. He has given my life more meaning than I ever thought possible.

My friend, you bring me joy, but it is a joy paired with sorrow. I love you, yet I realize you have not felt the love you deserve, the absolutely perfect, passionate love of Jesus Christ. He is the One who loves you completely. I so much want for you to fully experience the joy that knowledge of His love could bring you. It is a great joy. I know you've been through some really rough times, but if you seek Him, God will give you a place of refuge from those wounds (Psalm 46:1). He's done so much in my life. I wish you'd give Him a chance to become real to you.

Out of His intense love, the love strong enough to keep the cosmos in order, the love that brought you into the world, He calls you to Him. And if you answer Him, He will fill your life with His direction and His joy. He will help you become all He has created you to be.

Instead of responding to the pressures of this world, I hope you will choose to fill yourself with the Spirit of Jesus Christ. He will fill the gap in your life. He is the only One who can bring you peace. Be wary of the evil of this world. Seek the holiness which only comes from by the grace of God.

I look forward to seeing you again. I'm praying for you.

Love,

 

Youth Advisory Board Members

MANCHESTER HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS TELL IT LIKE IT IS

In February several students from Manchester High were asked write on one of several themes. Following are some of their responses.

Network News: Narrate an incident or series of incidents which illustrate your view of the world, life, relationships, etc.

I was in an economics class on Tuesday when my teacher told the class that a member of the senior class was announced missing. I attend a school with a population of +/-400 (that's 7-12th grade), so it was pretty obvious that everyone would know who he was when she told us his name. I didn't hang out with him or anything, but I've passed him in the halls a few times and we muttered a "Hey, Sup?" every now and again.

At the sound of the bell at the end of the day, I was on my way to my locker as usual, but everyone around me wasn't usual at all. My friends were hysterically crying, and the teachers looked as though someone had taken their facial expressions right off their faces. I'm the captain of my cheerleading squad, so a few people came up to tell me they'd be absent from practice. Their reason was that they'd just found out that the police had found the missing senior. Next to his body, which was hanging from the top of a tree, was a suicide note (8 pages). I didn't know quite what to say. "Okay," was all I could get my mouth to move out.

The next day, everyone was excused from mid-terms. There were people at the beach for the memorial that his friends made (his name written in rocks on the sand). The rest were wandering around the halls and giving one another comfort. It really brought our school together. We helped each other deal with the death/loss.

Two weeks ago, my godfather died, and I found out that a close friend of mine had run away from home. All these mixed emotions led to one uneasy week.

I wasn't upset for the family of the boy as much as I was confused. Why did someone have to go through so much pain that his only way out was the end? Why hadn't anyone helped him or at least noticed?

In his letter he apologized to his family and assured them that he blamed no one-only himself. Why couldn't he understand that it wasn't his fault either? He was a brilliant artist, on the honor society, and headed toward a great future. He worked so hard for what he had. It wasn't his fault, it was life's! Life is why he was on this earth, and life is what took him off. It was just life.

 

-Female student, 17

NN: What's going on with your peers? Are drugs, sex or depression a problem? If kids are getting into trouble or hurting in some way, why are they?

Teens today seem pressured everyday more and more. With school tests and exams and drugs. With the group of people you hang out with. With your family.

Most families are dysfunctional. Most families have many expectations for your future. You think about your future very much, and some don't see the point of a future-or living or dying. Some teens have so many problems, but they keep to themselves quietly and let it build up inside them until they become unhappy and can't deal with it anymore.

Many things cause pain, fighting and depression. A typical day in the life of a teenager is getting up in the morning being stressed with work from school and family problems, going to school, dealing with drugs, depression, friends, enemies and other students, and coming home taking out all your frustrations (on) your family and friends, or keeping them inside you-not going to a friend.

It is very important to have things. My life goal at this time would be to go to college and be a lawyer. There are many things I notice that are going on with other students today. Being harassed by an assistant principal, drugs, rehab and depression. Being harassed by the police. Hating your parents. Getting into fights.

 

-Female student, 18

NN: How do you feel about school, the expectations of others, the possibilities for your future?

I think that school is forced upon us. We are forced to learn. We should be made to want to learn. We should learn in a style that we are enthusiastic about. Schools also have a bad system for discipline. Students are guilty until proven innocent. Students aren't given half a chance. Schools should treat us as people, not as 'just another kid to look after.' (male student, 16)

I believe that the expectations of others are high-mainly those of our parents. A friend of mine, her father went to college, but never finished...He now works at a job that he pays the bills with, but he wishes for more...So he drills into her head that she must do well because he failed...He doesn't want the same thing to happen to her...In a way, this is good; however, it puts a lot of pressure on her. Because of his high expectations, she feels that she must do well to get attention from him. If she gets bad grades, rather than getting help, she hides it because she thinks that because she doesn't understand the material she's done something wrong. And she won't talk about it or any of her problems with her father because she thinks she has to be perfect in her father's eyes. She holds it all inside. I ask you-is it right that parents put such high expectations on their children?

-Female student, 16

The life of a teen is very complex. It seems like we are under pressure 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We have to live up to the expectations of our parents, who always set goals for us. We are never allowed to set our own goals.

 

-Male student, 15

NN: What gives meaning to life? How important to you is having things? Do you have a personal life goal at this time?

Everybody says life is a journey. I say life is a journey of emotions. We do everything to satisfy our emotions. We help others because it makes others and us happy. We work so we have money, so we can buy a house and food, so we can be "happy." Teenagers have many troubles because they can't keep a steady perspective on life. To a young baby the world is huge, but as he ages the world gets smaller and smaller. The meaning of life is not expressible through words, but it has to do with filtering in positive emotions and HOPE: something to look forward to.

 

-Male student, 16

NN: What gives you the greatest happiness or pain?

What gives me great happiness is sports, hobbies and my family. Not in that order! First and foremost is my family, because they help me out everyday, from the little things like making dinner to the big things like helping me find my way in life. My hobbies give me a happy, quiet time to get away.

JUST GET AWAY! My hobbies help me do this because they relax me and give me personal time-for me. Sports are another thing that give me happiness because they allow me to blow off steam that builds ups in me from many different things.

These are the things that bring me the most happiness.

 

-Male student, 15

THE STRENGTH FOUND IN RELATIONSHIPS

Julie Kletzing, 18-South Hamilton

Question: Have you ever seen three teens with nylon stockings on their heads, shoving bananas into their mouths as fast as possible? Teens from around the North Shore might see this and many other interesting spectacles during Young Life Club.

Young Life is a national organization, and Club meets in homes and is open to all teens. In our area, it currently meets in Hamilton-Wenham, in Danvers, and soon in Beverly. During a typical Club, teens hang out and chat, then sing two or three popular songs-anything from Dave Matthews to the Beatles to Van Morrison. Then they play mixer games. In one such game, they divide into groups of three people, each of which shares two truths and a lie to the large group, which must figure out which is the lie.

Lindsey Ketcham, a senior, remembers Club when she first went as a sophomore. "We did a lot of singing, such as 'Lean on Me,' which was fun. I remember we had this one Club when we had a scavenger hunt. We received this list, and you had to find as many sorts of people as you could (for example, somebody who has been to England) in a certain amount of time and put them in your car," she explains. "That was a way to bring more people and have a really fun time."

Often there is a fun skit. "When people laugh, it breaks down barriers between groups," said Gordon Anaple. He and his wife Soraya have since last fall directed the North Shore's Young Life. (Incidentally, Gordon, who devours green pepper and pineapple pizza, had eaten pizza every day for the past week when I interviewed them.)

After singing more songs, one of the leaders will say something about God. "One of the leaders talks a little bit about Jesus, what He can do in your life," says Lindsey. Howie Rich, a Danvers High Health and Physical Education teacher who has led the Danvers Club since 1969, says, "Most kids would say there's something they haven't found yet or have a yearning for. Young Life gives them a chance to discover more about how relationships work and what role faith plays in life."

Tim Godzik, a junior at Danvers High, is not sure yet about his beliefs and enjoys the talk Howie gives at the end of Club. "Usually he relates (some story) to himself, and he tells a different one every week. One was about a wedding where the wine had run out, and Jesus changed water into wine. The stories really make you think."

At Club, "You can be accepted for who you are," says Gordon. He and Soraya spend a lot of time hanging out at Hamilton-Wenham and Beverly High schools. "A big part of Young Life is just relationships," says Soraya.

Club, which began on the North Shore after a supportive parent committee had been formed, gives teens a group of kids and leaders who can help them deal with the pressures of school and life. Wendy Johnson, a junior at Danvers High, says, "It gives you a break. If you have a problem, you can bring it to Howie, and he'll listen to you."

Jake Soucy, a senior at Hamilton-Wenham, has been involved with Young Life activities for about two years. "I like the energetic things we do. I like how they get the Word across by having fun with the kids and just being their friends and not pressuring them."

Young Life has camps around the country that teens can attend with their Club group for a weekend or week in winter or summer. Judd Funchion, a junior who has been involved in Young Life for just a few months, attended the Winter Weekend retreat at Lake Champion in January, along with about 300 other teens. "I liked the speaker there, and I liked the fun we had. It wasn't lame; it was a good time. We went skiing one day, and the other day was all games."

Lindsey Ketcham loved Saranac Camp. "It was the best week of my life. There was so much to do: you could canoe, sail, tube behind a boat, do arts and crafts or play soccer or basketball. In the talk we heard, the speaker used an analogy that your heart is like a house and Jesus is knocking at your door. He knows you're there and you know He's there, and you're ignoring it. All you need to do is answer the door. It really helped me to grow and strengthen my faith."

Some of the teens who go to Club also enjoy Campaigners, which is a smaller group that meets on a different night than Club. Any teen who has questions about God or wants to learn more about the Bible can attend. Kelly Ketcham, a Hamilton-Wenham freshman, has enjoyed Campaigners. "I know there are other Christian teens there, and their faith is their life, and it really helps me get through the day. I really like the leaders-they're awesome. I really like how we take a Bible verse and apply it to life in the modern world." Young Life gives teens a place where they don't feel pressured to act in a certain way.

Judd Funchion says of Campaigners, "I like to hear what other kids have to say about stuff. It's a really open-minded thing; you don't have to worry about what you say."

Emily Thomas, a Hamilton-Wenham sophomore, began going to Club early in her freshman year when she was kidnapped for one of the activities and taken to Club. "I kept going because I liked the people there. At the end of freshman year things were falling apart. Although I'd grown up going to church and had dedicated my life to God, it never sunk in until I needed Him. I called up Jody, the Hamilton-Wenham Young Life leader at the time, and we had a couple of long talks and Bible studies. That kind of got me going, on my feet."

WHY PRAY?

Alexander Haring, 14-Beverly Farms

A day for you probably begins with long classes at school, taught by teachers who cannot keep you interested in what they are teaching. Then comes lunch, when you sit with people who are sometimes your friends, or you eat by yourself. Following that are more drawn-out classes and hours of homework to look forward to when you get home. After homework you really have time to hear your parents scream about your grades (and college in the future), things which are last in your mind but are giving you the most stress. Perhaps there is sometimes a moment for television, or some time to worry about kids at your school who are wrapped up in drugs or depression or just themselves, and then there's just a few more hours to sleep and do the whole thing over again the next morning.

With all the many things to do and be stressed about, where's the time to sit down and make sense of it all? A lot of kids your age take just a couple of minutes a day to clear their mind and ask for help. This time for them is called prayer.

WHAT IS PRAYER?

Prayer has many definitions, and almost all apply and make sense. You've probably seen people pray in church or before a big exam but may not have thought about doing it yourself. Prayer is a time when you can talk freely and openly about anything that is on your mind and not have to worry about anything else. Prayer is a moment when you can realize all the things you are thankful for and all the things you still have left to do. Everyone prays differently and for different reasons, but prayer is always a sacred time.

WHY DO YOU PRAY?

When I feel like there's no one else to talk to, I pray, and then it feels like I'm talking to someone.

Praying makes me feel better. I know it's going to help; it always helps me. Sometimes I pray because I feel that no one else is going to help me.

I pray because I know that if I ask I usually am helped. I pray to be more happy; I pray to help myself.

I feel it's a responsibility or an obligation. It's a good thing to do. I do it because I want to talk to God. If everyone else in the world went away, God would still be there. God will never go away. You can always depend on talking to God whenever you need someone

to talk to.

Prayer works; it has gotten me out of many things.

I pray when I want something special to happen or when I need someone to keep an eye on things.

I pray because I want to.

When I hear bad things about people, I pray for them.

I pray for thanks or if I need help with something.

I pray to know why we're here on earth. Prayer is my way of believing that there is a God.

 

You should pray because praying helps you. It is a release of all the things that have bothered you in the past, just like exhaling after holding your breath. God knows what is on your mind and is able to help you. When you pray, you know that you are not alone in your troubles and thoughts because God has heard you in your prayers and knows what you are going through. If you don't ask, you will have a lesser chance of being helped. Praying helps you clear your mind and receive help in things you are having trouble with.

HOW DO YOU PRAY?

 

When I feel bad or nervous, I talk to myself in bed, closing my eyes and mouthing the words.

When I'm about to go to sleep in my bed, I fold my hands and say the Lord's Prayer. Afterwards I just talk to God about whatever is on my mind, looking at the ceiling or closing my eyes. I ask Him questions about life, what things are good and bad. I ask questions like how can He listen to everyone at the same time and what's going to happen when I grow up, whispering the words or saying them in my head.

I pray all the time: ten times a day, when I'm really sad or really afraid. I don't have a specific way of praying. Anytime, wherever I am, I pray. I usually talk in my head. If I really need some help and I'm freaked out, I'll talk out loud. I usually pray while looking out the window.

I pray as if I'm writing a letter to God, but out loud.

My parents make me recite this old prayer before I go to bed every night, but it's lost its meaning. I usually pray when I'm alone at night. I pray for happiness and for my friends.

 

I just think in my head and talk to God.

 

There is no right or wrong way to pray; it differs from person to person. You know you've found your way of praying when it feels right. You can start out by just talking to God or reciting a prayer that you know. You can light candles or listen to music, close your eyes, or lie down. Some people sing to God or laugh with Him; others sit quietly and tell Him what is on their minds. Your method of praying can be different each time, or it can become a new tradition you do every day. All that matters is that your words and thoughts to God are true and honest and that you do not get caught up in saying things you do not mean.

WHY DOESN'T GOD TALK BACK TO ME?

 

I don't think about God talking back to me. It's not a big deal. All I care about is that He heard me, and then I know help is on the way.

 

God talks back to me in His own way, by presenting new challenges to me and opening new doorways. New people come into my life, and He speaks through them.

God works in mysterious ways, and this is true also in how He answers your prayers.

Don't be frustrated if you feel that God is not listening to you or saying anything back. You have to have faith that God's help is on the way and patience in order to be ready for that time to come.

 

I don't believe in a lot of things, but I believe in prayer. It helps me get away from things.

When you pray, you feel like someone's helping you, and you're not alone. Prayer gives you something to believe in. It's different than wishing. You're asking for help.

Prayer benefits everything in my life. When I can't handle one thing in my life, I pray about it and let it go.

 

Once you start to pray, it's something you'd never think of not doing. It never goes away, like believing in God.

For those of you who already pray, keep on doing it. The longer you pray the greater your relationship with God will be. For those of you who don't, now is the time to start. Start right now-it doesn't take much. Close your eyes and have a conversation with God. Ask Him for help or thank Him for something in your life.

 

Life for teenagers isn't all fun and games, and you know that. There is a lot of pressure in school to do well and be accepted into college and deal with depression, drugs and alcohol. Life is hard, but praying to God will make it easier. Ask Him to watch over your friends and bring them happiness, or to watch over you and bring you comfort. God will always be there for you. You can always talk to Him whenever you need to, any time, any place, about whatever is on your mind; He will be there. Take advantage of this amazing Friend and Father, Who is always there for you, by praying to God about anything, in any way. Prayer can be the foundation of your faith in God, if you just give yourself two minutes before you go to bed or on your way to school. Prayer is your connection to God, who can help you whenever you need someone to talk to or someone to listen. Prayer benefits YOU, giving you a clear head and a strong heart to start the day.

 

  cCYS