OVERVIEW

Want to be popular? Then follow these rules set by popular teens. Rule #5: Act like a lunatic when you feel like it. Rule #7: Wear flashy clothes. Rule #9: Go out with an almost-as-popular varsity athlete. Rule #16: Have parents who can buy you the best of everything.

Until seventh grade, Erin was, in her words, “ ‘really, dorky-looking.’ ” So, Erin decided to reinvent her geeky persona: “ ‘I got my hair braided for the first time because it was always out of control…I got braces so my teeth became straight. I bought contacts.’ ” At the beginning of her freshman year, Erin became the most popular girl in her grade. She acted in all the plays, played all the sports, and started to dress in really crazy clothes. “ ‘I love being the one that everyone is looking at.’ ”

Similar to Erin’s story is Diane’s. Diane was a “ ‘total book worm.’ ” “ ‘I never went to parties,’ ” she said. But as soon as she hit 16 and her parents bought her a brand new Honda accord, she was off! She was the school hero to new, shy students. “ ‘Here I am, in a little skirt, very “prep-girl”, and then this girl was in baggy clothes, big shirt, no makeup, and she didn’t have her hair done or anything. So I went up to her and I asked if she wanted to go to lunch with us.’ ” And thus Diane was remembered as the nicest girl in school.

Though both Erin and Diane were the life of the party and were “always making people laugh,” not everyone agreed that they were the most popular. Erin was annoying and got mad at her friends for dumb things. She expected people to treat her like a queen. “ ‘Erin is almost like a character. Sometimes you don’t even feel like you’re talking to a real person.’ ” In regards to Diane’s story, Diane acted “ ‘Like she was better than anyone else. She stares people down and presents herself in a showy manner.’ ”

Despite Erin’s and Diane’s negative attributes, they were still voted the most popular. “So what if along the way she made a few enemies and embarrassed some freshman girls? She ended up where she always wanted to be: Captain of the cheerleading team. You can’t argue with results.”

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION AND DISCUSSION

1. Who would you say was the most popular person in your high school, and what made him or her so popular?
2. Would you be friends with someone like Diane or Erin? If not, then why do you think these two girls were still voted the most popular?
3. What would you say our society says is important in order to “make it big” in this world? Do you agree or disagree with what society says?
4. How can youth become popular without all the fuss of appearance and stress of maintaining an extroverted personality? How can we encourage youth to look past the thrill of popularity and focus deeper into the honor of a unique character?
5. Are we setting an example of being men and women of integrity or are we just like Erin and Diane and compete for our attention, degrade others even if it is just a joke, and focus on our own needs and desires to be popular?
6. What about the kids who don’t have rich parents or fancy clothes? What if dating is not an option because no one will talk to them? Does that mean they are not popular or likeable?

IMPLICATIONS

1. The standards that are set for teen popularity are almost impossible to achieve and could be argued as morally incorrect. Teenagers have been trained into thinking that in order to be popular, one must be involved in every sport, be everybody’s best friend, and possess every item that is “in” at the given time.
2. Youth are put under a lot of pressure by their parents, teachers, and society regarding academics, athletics, and appearance. These influential figures in children’s lives need to be careful with what they praise their children for. Are parents only happy with an extremely smart or athletic child, or with a child who tries their hardest in school, but still receives a “C” average, or who never makes the varsity basketball team but receives the “team player” award? What we perceive as the elements of popularity or importance will aid in how youth feel about themselves and what they continue to strive for within themselves; integrity of character versus popularity.

Sarah Larson cCYS