Oraker, J. (1988). "Nurturing self-esteem in ministry." Inside the Mission. Colorado Springs, CO: Young Life. Reprinted with permission.

OVERVIEW

Burnout-we've all heard the term and we've all had days when if one more kid calls, we'd rather strangle them than share Jesus. We don't want to feel that way; we want to have the inner resources that keep us in the ministry when times are tough, but how do we get them?

A heathy self-esteem is not a selfish psychological luxury, but an essential element in the person who wants to minister to others. We share and teach out of the abundance of our own inner selves.

There are five basic elements discussed below which are important for the enhancement of self-esteem.

SECURITY/SUPERVISION

A child develops a sense of self-esteem within clearly defined limits and a trusting relationship with a significant adult. This same process builds our self-esteem as adults when we are in a relationship with an experienced supervisor. Timothy had Paul, Joshua had Moses, Mary had Elizabeth-and we need a similar spiritual mentor in our lives.

Within the context of a supervisory relationship we develop an ability to trust God, to depend on the leading of the Holy Spirit, and to follow the principles of Scripture as guides to faith and practice. We have someone to hold us accountable and someone to talk to in difficult situations.

IDENTITY/GROUP

A strong sense of identity is developed through positive feedback, recognition of strengths, love, acceptance, and the development of self-evaluation.

All of these things take place in community-often in a small group within the context of intimacy and commitment. Every individual in ministry needs the experience of being committed to a regular small group that cares for one another. Though personal growth will most likely happen under the supervision of a trained leader, it is not always necessary. Small groups meeting without professional leadership can also be very helpful.

Within the context of a small group sharing experience, you can profit from feedback from people who care about you. You can begin to identify your strengths and weaknesses within the context of a loving and accepting community. A small group can open up new areas of possible gifts and ideas for you to explore, it can provide a testing ground for the emergence of talents, and it can enable you to be more accurate, clear, and perceptive in your self-evaluation.

BELONGING/COMMUNITY

Psychologically, belonging has to do with the need to be socially accepted, to be part of a larger group. For you in ministry this means being associated with an organization, such as Young Life, a church, a worshipping community, in short, with the larger Body of Christ. This involves developing a sense of history together, a sense of unity and concern for others within the larger community.

In practical terms, those of us in an organization like Young Life need to realize how important this belonging to a larger group is to the self-esteem of individuals in ministry. Recruitment, selection, training, clearly defined positions, supervision and adequate termination procedures are all aspects of belonging.

SENSE OF PURPOSE/CALLING

Sense of purpose provides meaning and direction to life and leads to a certain degree of success and fulfillment. It is important for you in ministry to be challenged realistically by those who know you and who have developed faith and confidence in your ability to achieve your goals. If you are new to ministry it is important for you to expand your interests, skills, and talents. You need to challenge yourself to experiment, to risk, to think creatively, and to follow God's calling.

If you are in a supervisory position, a sense of purpose for those new to ministry can be enhanced when your expectations are clearly communicated, support and encouragement are offered, and help is given to define goals, organize steps to achieve goals, and encourage and motivate to meet goals. Within a context such as this a calling is likely to develop and as direction and motivation become more clear, an individual is likely to need less supervision.

PERSONAL COMPETENCE/TRAINING

A sense of personal competence is the feeling of being able to cope with problems and to meet goals. Competence grows when you have a series of successful experiences.

The Young Life programs of equipping for ministry are designed to provide the training needed for you to develop your sense of competence. All aspects of ministry are part of the training experience-both the content and the community you learn in. That is why the Institute of Youth Ministries combines both classroom learning and a community experience-you learn from both. In this setting hopefully you will learn the integration of skills, theology, lifestyle, mission, calling, and growth in your personal journey.

FINALLY

The nurturing of your self-esteem is a process. It overlaps and develops in a cyclical manner: in the context of supervision, an individual develops security; security is encouraged and explored in a small caring group where it develops into a clear personal identity. This personal identity is then nurtured in a large community, and in the community the individual in ministry begins to sense a personal and validating call which is then further strengthened and enhanced by additional equipping and training for ministry. This is the ideal picture, and though you are part of a group that shares the responsibility for your growth, you are the one who is ultimately responsible to insure that you receive the nurture you need in each of these areas. Take a few minutes to evaluate your resources in each of them and if you are lacking an area, pray and plan for a way to correct your lack. For example, if you are not part of a caring, praying small group, one by one intentionally invite like-minded people to meet and pray with you. If you need more training, plan to take time and save money for it. If you need greater accountability with your supervisor, ask for it.

IMPLICATIONS

• Doing all of these things is not taking time away from the ministry-it is taking time to build you up as a minister, to form you into a fit tool for God to use in loving kids into His kingdom.
• We need to do this for ourselves. We cannot be dependent on others to do it for us. Being good to ourselves is the first step in improving our own self-esteem.

Jim Oraker and Anne Montague cCYS