Lesbian mothers and their children: A comparison with solo parent heterosexual mothers and their children

Green, R. et al. (1986, April). Lesbian mothers and their children: A comparison with solo parent heterosexual mothers and their children. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 15, 167-184.

OVERVIEW

We live in a time when the frequency of divorce litigation and child custody disputes rises alongside the number of mothers who assert their lesbianism and claim a right to the custody of their children. The clash of these two phenomena have provided the opportunity for many individuals, groups, and institutions to voice their disapproval of a homosexual mother raising children. One fear that fuels this fire is a fear that "being raised by a homosexual mother might produce sexual identity conflict and peer group stigmatization."

This study assessed the validity of that fear. Its design was to evaluate "the effects on children’s sexual identity development of living in a father-absent household with either a heterosexual or a homosexual mother." Looking to the work of Stoller (1968), Money and Ehrhardt (1972), and Green (1974), the study focused on two components of sexual identity. The first is core-morphologic identity, or "the individual’s sense of being either male or female." The second component is gender role behavior, noted as "the individual’s conduct that is culturally described as masculine or feminine."

DESIGN

The testing was performed on "two matched groups of currently unmarried women living with at least one child between the ages of 3 and 11 years." In response to a questionnaire, all the women in one group acknowledged themselves to be lesbians, while none of the women in the second group identified themselves as such.

Each mother responded in writing to personal questions about the mothers’ views on divorce, sex roles, sex education of their children, and child discipline. They also completed a questionnaire about the children that assessed a child’s sexual identity, peer group popularity, and preferred play activities.

The children themselves were given tests regarding their intelligence level (WPPSI and WIRC-R), and were interviewed about

• What they liked to play.
• Their friends.
• What they preferred to watch on TV.
• Their views on life as an adult.

The children were given the "Draw-A-Person" test, which gathers information according to the gender of the first figure drawn by a child under certain instructions. Also administered was the "It-Scale for Children." Here, children tell what "It," a stick figure, would choose from a list of sex-typed toys.

Mothers were questioned about their children’s tendencies for cross-dressing and fantasy play, and each child was asked whether, if he or she could be born again, he or she would choose to be a boy or a girl. Children were further asked about their interest in being married and being parents someday, and what they thought they wanted to be when they grow up.

One question posed to both children and their mothers was about each child’s "favorite games, toys, and activities at home and at school." Then, the children were questioned about "their preferred types of activity, both at school and in their neighborhood, and were given a choice between a strong or moderate preference for activities that boys or girls typically do on an equal preference for both boy- and girl-type activities." Finally, the children were asked about their best friends, and how each child rated their own popularity among boys and among girls at school and in the neighborhood.

RESULTS

Draw-a-person test. No significant differences were found between the groups of children.

It-Scale For Children. No significant differences. Both groups of boys scored within the masculine range. Both groups of girls scored within the feminine range.

Regarding cross-dressing and fantasy play. Some were differences found: 21% of lesbian mother daughters cross-dress; 11% of heterosexual mother daughters cross-dress.

Across the full range of frequency. Lesbian mothers reported more cross-dressing.

Wish to be the other sex. No differences were found in either group of boys or girls.

Interest in marriage and parenting. No significant differences were found.

Preferences for adult roles. Lesbian mother daughters choosing traditionally masculine jobs (52%). Heterosexual mother daughters choosing traditionally masculine jobs (21%). Sons choosing traditionally masculine jobs (95%).

Favorite games and toys. No significant differences emerged.

Choice of activities. No difference was found in the amount of participation in sports. Rough-and-tumble play. Twenty-three percent of lesbian mother daughters were described as "above average." Zero percent heterosexual mother daughters were described as "above average."

Playing house (daughters). No difference was found.

Playing with trucks. No difference was found among sons; 36% of heterosexual mother daughters never play with trucks, while 7% of lesbian mother daughters never play with trucks.

Playing with guns. Sons showed no difference. Sixty-eight percent of heterosexual mother daughters never play with guns. Thirty-seven percent of lesbian mother daughters never play with guns.

Playing with dolls. Neither sons nor daughters showed any differences.

Preferred types of activities. Daughters at school. One half of both daughter groups chose both-sex activities. Of daughters who choosing other activities, 39% of heterosexual mother daughters participate in same-sex activities, while 18% of lesbian mother daughters participate in same-sex activities. Twenty-four percent of lesbian mother daughters choose other-sex activities, while eight percent of heterosexual mother daughters do.

Sons at school. Thirty-two percent of lesbian mother sons and 10% of heterosexual mother sons prefer both-sex activities. Forty-eight percent of lesbian mother sons and 35% of heterosexual mother sons prefer same-sex activities. None prefer other-sex activities.

Daughters in the neighborhood. The majority of daughters of lesbian mothers chose both-sex activities. The majority of daughters of heterosexual mothers chose same-sex activities.

Sons in the neighborhood. No differences emerged.

Popularity with same-sex and other-sex children. No significant differences were found.

CONCLUSION

The authors found that there were no children showing signs of childhood sexual identity disorder. The fear that children raised by lesbian mothers will "produce sexual identity conflict and peer group stigmatization" seems to be unfounded. Indeed, the authors state that "it is clear that boys and girls raised from early childhood by a homosexual mother without an adult male in the household for about 4 years do not appear appreciably different" from those raised by heterosexual mothers without an adult male present in regards to sexual and social development.

IMPLICATIONS

1. Many of our beliefs and feelings (especially our fears) concerning homosexual persons may be based upon myth, misunderstanding, or just plain prejudice.
2. A young person who suddenly discovers that a parent (and in particular, the parent he or she lives with) is gay can be the target of terribly cruel treatment by his or her peers and community.
3. The results of this study and others that will follow should be presented to our young people. They need to know the truth so that they can develop a legitimate response to the issue of homosexuality in their community.
4. Whatever the sexual preference of the parent, the young person is not responsible. Those who work with youth understand that all children are acceptable. Help youth who come from homosexual family situations believe and accept themselves for who they themselves are. With that comes the love that is needed for those around us who may not live in accordance with our value systems.
5. It is important to remember that actions that are undesirable, not the person. Prejudices should be wiped away and love should fill their place.

Anne Montague cCYS