To allow college and post-college leaders to explore reasons for and implications of foregoing long-term commitments in the area of personal relationships.

OVERVIEW

LEADER PREPARATION

• Prepare a worksheet in which participants will define characteristics of the "20-something" age group; late adolescence; factors causing postponement of relationship decisions; and influences and implications of media, science and technology, general cultural attitudes, and divorce and family issues.
• Videotape portions of "Fandango" (starring Kevin Costner) which deal with the process of making a commitment (in this case, marriage).
• Review research regarding commitment to interpersonal relationships, highlighting the factors involved in making such commitments.
• Bring the copy of Newsweek’s article, "Family in the 1990s" and a 1990 article in Time, entitled "Proceeding with Caution."

GROUP BUILDING

• Break the group up into sets of three, separating male and female. Initially, keeping the genders separate will foster deeper, more honest reflection. Later, the groups will be able to interchange.
• In the groups, each person should take a few minutes to discuss their most embarrassing moment.

GROUP PRESENTATION

• Introduce the topic: commitment. Ask the group as a whole, what commitment means to each one.
• Show them the article in Time magazine. Explaining the dilemma of the "20-somethings."
• Read them the story of the 25 year-old business executive who lives at home (within the article).

EVALUATION AND FOLLOW-UP

These topics can comprise a series of follow-up discussions:

• Long-term career commitments.
• Developing solid friendships.
• Cultural influences (it is possible to devote an entire series to media, family, values in the 1990s).
• Youth worker commitment to kids. Impacts of long-term versus short-term.

IMPLICATIONS

1. Through discussions of long-term commitments, leaders will be more able to discern the factors involved in their commitment decisions and decide if those factors lead to healthy decisions.
2. It would be wonderful to incorporate an external panel into this process, to share their past experiences. Those who have already made difficult decisions "that count" have much to offer.
3. Direct application to volunteer leaders will affect their own youth work.