Helping Kids Living with Alcoholic Parent(s).

LEADER PREPARATION

Due to the sensitivity of this subject, be well primed for this program. The following are suggested steps for preparation:

• Read and study Berlin, R. & Davis, R.B. (1988, Fall). Adaptive and Reactive Distancing among Adolescents from Alcoholic Families. Adolescents, XXIII(91), 577-584. A review on this research is found here.
• Edit together several video clips of families in turmoil (from current movies or TV), preferably with alcohol present.
• Talk with individuals who have dealt with this situation. Note the emotions and frustrations they have experienced, and consider their suggestions for leading such a group. Ask any of them to speak to the group. Have a clear understanding of what they plan to share with the group.
• Meet with alcohol and addiction counselors.

GROUP BUILDING

A game or some songs will create a good atmosphere for the program. A great game is the "clothespin" mixer. Give each person about ten clothespins. Play some music. As the song begins, game participants must attach as many clothespins to other people as possible—without letting any pins be stuck on them (lasts about one minute per round; play two rounds). After the game is finished, bring the group together.

GROUP PRESENTATION

Use any or all of the following activities to focus the group on the subject of family alcoholism:

• Show the edited video.
• Introduce the guest speaker.
• Have kids role play a family incident relating to the dysfunctionalism caused by alcohol abuse.

GROUP DISCUSSION

Pose the following questions to the group; modify them as necessary. Encourage group confidentiality—everyone needs to feel comfortable to share their stories and feelings.

• How often is open alcohol present in your home?
• How does it affect life in your home?
• What do you dislike most about alcohol’s affect on your family?
• Do you feel like you play a part in your parent’s drinking problem? Why or why not?
• Aside from wanting your parent to stop drinking, what is your greatest desire for your family? For yourself?
• Where or to whom do you turn when things are really difficult?
• What suggestions do you have for someone affected by alcoholism in his or her family?

WRAP-UP

When concluding the group discussion, thank the participants for their vulnerability. Remind the group to respect confidentiality. Tell them that the discussion is the beginning of a long process of dealing with family alcoholism. Support their emotions. Plan a time to continue discussion on the subject; tell them what will be addressed at the next meeting.

EVALUATION AND FOLLOW UP

Take mental notes during the entire program and detail certain issues that need to be remembered for each individual. Meet with each participant between group discussions to follow up on any key point mentioned by that individual; the young person may feel more comfortable to talk in a one-on-one setting. Thank each individual for attending the initial meeting and encourage them to continue participating.

IMPLICATIONS

This can begin healthy processing of internalized needs, fears, frustration, anger, resentment, and desires. This discussion may be helpful to those who are willing to address their family issues; outbursts and total rejection of this process may emerge from others. Any youth worker considering deep involvement with a child in a family of an alcoholic must anticipate colossal issues: there may be great, minimal, or no responses; intense relational dynamics; experiences of pain and rejection–or potential for incredible reward. Youth workers are ideal candidates for helping kids struggling in a family of an alcoholic:

• Target teens who need help.
• Nurture relationships through the program.
• Aid a group leader in the follow-up.
• Seek other sources or individuals who can help the group or individuals.