Lankard, C. (1999, November 8). Grieving process necessary. The Daily Oklahoman, p. 1B.

OVERVIEW

One of the unfortunate realities of adolescence is brushing near death. While seemingly unfair, young people die, and the friends and peers who outlive them must face the gut-wrenching challenge of coping with the loss. Additionally, teenagers will likely experience the death of at least one relative, co-worker, or teacher. According to the article, when a death occurs, young people "get in touch with their own mortality. They realize it could happen to them. Plus, this comes at a time when developmentally they are experiencing the pressures of approaching adulthood and beginning to distance from adults and striving toward more independence."

How can a youth worker help a young person get through the difficult grieving process? Grief counselor Tina Barnson encourages adults to be supportive and patient. It also helps to prepare for and understand the following stages of grief:

• Shock.
• Emotional release.
• Depression.
• Physical symptoms.
• Panic.
• Guilt.
• Hostility.
• Inactivity.
• Gradual recovery.
• Readjustment.

When a young person is grieving, allow any reasonable behavior, unless the action hurts "oneself, another person, or damages property." It typically takes six months for the grief to run its course. If problems last longer, or if they become more severe, contact a professional.

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION AND DISCUSSION

IMPLICATIONS

• How have you responded to a young person coping with the death of a loved one?
• Are these stages similar to the grieving adults experience? How might they be different?
• In working with young people in grief, what type of activities have been helpful? What hasn’t worked?
• Is the grieving process a good time for a young person to consider his or her faith? Why or why not?

1. Young people grieve. Adolescence is a tumultuous time, and grief may make a teenager’s roller-coaster life even more steep.
2. Allow a young person to grieve in a way that is appropriate for him or her.
3. Be there for a young person. Listen. Don’t quickly forget the grief. Ask the young person periodically over the next several months about his or her loss.
4. Encourage parents to be aware of the grief process.