(1998). What is a mentor and what makes a good mentor. A discussion of Morse High School students under the leadership of their school’s substance abuse counselor. Youth Forum Maine and GATE.

OVERVIEW

What follows is an outline of a discussion by Morse High School students, under the leadership of their school’s substance abuse counselor, Geno Ring, at a workshop sponsored by Youth Forum Maine (207-865-4530) and G.A.T.E. (Bath, Maine’s Greater Awareness Theatre Experience).

The youth offered responses about what makes a mentor helpful. These students believe that mentors offer a friendly relationship with a nonjudgmental adult: a mentor is a listener. It was encouraging for the adult leaders present to hear these young people say that having a mentor would be helpful.

Further points made by students:

• A mentor relationship doesn’t need to be one on one; in fact, Geno is a mentor to a whole group.
• I’ve been encouraged by this to bring up hard subjects with young people rather than avoid them. My target has been raised regarding the level of conversations possible with young people.
• The mentor is not on a pedestal; we are equal.
• It’s the adolescent’s job to break away from their parents, to differentiate.
• I’m so aware now of the pain of the adolescent world today.
• A mentor is like an aunt or uncle who cares and befriends; it’s a spiritual thing.
• There are 5-minute-mentors; and it doesn’t have to be official or forma1. There are wonderful, informal models of mentoring going on.
• To have young people be so honest and real is daunting, particularly to their parents.
• Calling me by my first name brings intimacy.
• We need to help students to see when they are putting each other down.
• There’s a "softer," less structured side to mentoring; it’s a spontaneous response to kids in need.
• Structured mentoring is the attempt to re-create and reclaim has been lost in losing the "village," where mentoring happened naturally through family, friends, and neighbors.
• I am going to talk to the school principal to offer myself as an adult friend.
• Mentoring is not "do gooding" which is phony and top-down. It’s about telling the real emotional truth.
• Tutoring is a great avenue to being a mentor. There’s a void of volunteers for junior highs and high schools.
• I’m going to learn the names of kids in my church so I can address them by name.
• Awareness happens one step at a time.

It would make a big difference if we supply committed ourselves to making youth a priority again—in our lives and in our communities.

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION AND DISCUSSION

1. Have you brought young people together like this to discuss important issues?
2. What impresses you most from the article above?
3. Does your community, school, or church have a mentoring program?
4. What could you do to be a mentor or promote mentoring?

IMPLICATIONS

1. Most analyses find adolescents isolated from adult society and open for significant contact.
2. Big brother or sister programs, mentoring programs, and spiritual advisors are filling important holes in the lives of young people today.
3. Communities should try to become more mentoring in the way they raise children and young people.

Chet Marvin and Dean Borgman cCYS