Young, C. (1994, October). "The frontiers of flirting." Men’s Health, p. 109.

OVERVIEW

A sexual harassment seminar at Matawan Regional High School in Aberdeen, New Jersey failed to elicit significant discussion among the student participants. Nancy Butler, a gender-equity consultant, was hired by the school to talk to the students about sex and sexual bias.

Butler initiated the discussion by asking, " ‘How many of you think you have been sexually harassed?’ " There was a prolonged silence, after which one boy defiantly thrust up his hand. Giggles bubbled through the room.

" ‘How many of you think you have harassed somebody?’ " The same boy raised his hand, igniting lively laughter.

The discussion participants, dispersed around six or seven tables were next asked to brainstorm flirting behaviors. Their lists featured not only the obvious, such as " ‘eye contact,’ " and " ‘winking,’ " but also the questionable, including" ‘rubbing up against someone’ " and " ‘squeezing butt.’ "

When asked to describe differences between flirting and sexual harassment, one group concluded that " ‘when a guy or a girl touches someone and it’s unwanted, under some circumstances it could be sexual harassment.’ "

When Butler inquired, " ‘Flirting makes you feel good. How does sexual harassment make you feel?’ ", there was only silence. She told the group, " ‘It can make you feel scared, it can make you feel threatened. Males and females perceive sexual attention differently; it’s much more threatening to females.’ "

Lastly, Butler explained that while harassment was sometimes caused by poor communication, it was usually about power, and in our society, men historically have the power.

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION AND DISCUSSION

1. How do you define sexual harassment?
2. Does sexual harassment always have to be physical?
3. How can you help a friend deal with harassment?

IMPLICATIONS

1. The reluctance to discuss sexual harassment, as revealed through this article, suggests that young students may not complain to school authorities or their parents about sexual harassment, but may discuss it with their friends.
2. Youth workers have many opportunities to teach young people how to deal with sexual harassment. Schools, churches, clubs, homes, organization meetings, and informal talks are all appropriate places to discuss sexual harassment.

Tim S. Ou cCYS