"Friendly or sexy? It may depend on whom you ask"

Saal, F.E., Johnson, C.B., & Weber, N. (1989, September). "Friendly or sexy? It may depend on whom you ask." Psychology of Women Quarterly, 13(3), 263-277.

OVERVIEW

BACKGROUND

This study provides valuable insight into the social perception of men when observing social interactions of women. The research indicates that men perceive less friendliness but more sexuality on the part of women than do women when observing social interactions between men and women. In 1982, Abbey’s research provided similar insights into the nature of men’s social perception of the interactions of women. "Friendly or Sexy?", then, serves as both a replication and an extension of these earlier findings.

DESIGN

Forty-nine men and 49 women were chosen who had never before seen each other. These men and women were divided into 49 different male and female pairs. Each pair engaged in brief conversation while 48 men and 61 women each observed one of these conversations.

At the same time, 75 men and 88 women were asked to watch one-on-one videotaped conversations between male store managers and female cashiers.

Finally, 98 men and 102 women were asked to watch one-on-one videotaped conversations between male professors and female students.

FINDINGS

Those who participated in and those who observed these interchanges were then asked to evaluate the conversations that they had seen with regard to the degree of "friendliness/sexiness" that they had perceived on the part of the woman. The results of the study showed that women generally perceive an air of friendliness coming from the women involved in the conversations. The men, on the other hand, generally think that the women in the conversations exude more sexiness than friendliness.

CONCLUSION

Saal, Johnson, and Weber conclude that further development in theory and research in gender differences in social perception may lead to an increased understanding of some of the lesser forms of sexual harassment that are found in business and academic settings.

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION AND DISCUSSION

1. Given the evidence that men tend to perceive friendly behavior in a "sexual" way, do women have a responsibility to adjust their behavior in relationship to men? Why or why not?
2. Do men have a responsibility to adjust the way they perceive women’s intentions? Why or why not?
3. How might men and women become more sensitive to differences in social perception between the genders?
4. Does ignorance of the differences in gender perception excuse the behavior of sexual harassers? Why or why not?

IMPLICATIONS

1. It is important to address the issue of blame for sexual harassment. People often suspect that the cause of the problem resides in the way that the victim looks or in something that he or she has done or said. There exists the implication that the victim could do something to prevent the aggressive behavior of the harasser. It is simply not true. Anyone can be a victim. Parents, teachers, and youth leaders need to support the victims and encourage them that there is nothing in their behavior that to justify the horrible bullying that they have suffered. Also be aware that the weight of the pain can manifest itself within the victim in many ways: physical illness, depression, embarrassment, fear, loss of trust, withdrawal, confusion. Be sensitive to these and other similar symptoms.
2. Victims of sexual harassment typically try to deal politely with the harasser. The occasion of sexual harassment is no time for being considerate. Parents, teachers, and youth leaders must encourage victims to confront with their harassers. The best approach is direct. The harasser should be told that his or her behavior is not condoned. It should be written in a letter, with one copy sent to the harasser and one copy saved for documentation. A trusted guidance counselor or other appropriate official should sign the letter. It should be made clear that if the undesirable behavior stops, there will be no further action. The matter will be closed and forgotten. Further instances of harassment beg documentation.
3. The time for the discussion of gender perception with young people is in the absence of sexual harassment. Discerning leaders should gauge a young person’s ability to deal with the issue of gender perception in a meaningful way that will foster growth and maturity, not doubt and more pain.

Kelly Lee Negus cCYS