To address the need for intervention in the pain and the loss of a parent through divorce.

OVERVIEW

This discussion is intended for religious settings where a consideration of a story from Genesis is appropriate. It will encourage those who have been hurt by divorce and will motivate and offer principles for those who are supporting families dealing with the loss of a father or mother through separation or divorce.

LEADER PREPARATION

This discussion is intended for religious settings where a consideration of a story from Genesis is appropriate. It will encourage those who have been hurt by divorce and will motivate and offer principles for those who are supporting families dealing with the loss of a father or mother through separation or divorce.

LEADER PREPARATION

• The idea and use of the Genesis story here is taken from Jim Dycus' Children of Divorce (see Resource List).
• If there are not Bibles available, photocopy Genesis 21:9-21 for everyone to read.
• Beyond your reading on the subject, it is important that leaders understand the situations involved with this particular group.
• Obtain feedback from a qualified professional about the session being planned.
• Prepare for the group handouts of principles and local resources.
• Consider playing some music (if it isn't likely to offend someone attending) about the pain or loss of divorce. A brief video clip from a classic like "Kramer vs. Kramer" or "Irreconcilable Differences" may also facilitate the discussion.

GROUP BUILDING

• If the members don't know each other well, invite each person to offer some basic information about themselves. If appropriate, encourage light-hearted, loose responses.
• As appropriate, each member may share one point of pain and one way in which they think they have grown through a personal loss.
• Conclude this portion of the program with a reading of a psalm of comfort such as Psalm 27, noting Psalm 27:10, 13-14 especially.

GROUP PRESENTATION AND DISCUSSION

• Begin with a brief selection of music or video clip; ask for responses to the selection.
• Lead the group through the very human story in Genesis 21:9-21. Each of these points should provide opportunity for discussion:
  • Genesis 21:9-16 shows that bad things happen. There is no clear lesson about right and wrong. Bigamy, jealousy, and the limitations of human reconciliation all interact. A mother's tenacious love for her child amidst an impossible situation is described. Above these, the mystery of God's sovereignty and mercy is shown.
  • Two people are crying-desperate wails-in Genesis 21:16b-17a. Ministry begins with hearing the cries and responding to needs. Here, God heard a weeping boy.
  • Dycus points out that even in desperate situations, unconditional love ought to accept and embrace children of divorce. "Lift the boy and take him by the hand." (Genesis 21:18)
  • Further, there must be a response to each person's unique needs. "She gave the lad a drink." (Genesis 21:19)
  • Along with providing physical and emotional needs, there is also the need for spiritual healing and growth. "God was with the boy as he grew up." (Genesis 21:20)
  • How do you feel about the fact that Hagar and Ishmael were not welcomed back to Abraham's household? Does this story have a happy ending?
  • What can we learn from this story for our own survival and for our ministry with others?

WRAP-UP

The session might end with a re-reading of all or part of Psalm 27.