Overview

In this Time Magazine cover story, Gibbs investigates the famous age of transition from childhood to adulthood – the age of Shakespeare’s Juliet, of Joan of Arc when the voices began, and of Bobby Fischer’s first U.S. Junior Chess Championship. But whether or not a given thirteen year-old is on his or her way to attaining historical significance, the entry into the teenage years is dramatic enough.

 

Today’s thirteen year-olds are a demanding bunch, observes Gibbs. They “have more power than discipline, more weapons than shields. They demand more respect from their parents and show them less.” But their world is also more complex, connected, and competitive than the world their parents grew up in. And that’s not all that’s different – today’s 13 year-olds, notes Gibbs, are more physically mature than those of a generation ago. The onset of puberty among girls has steadily come at an earlier point for the last three decades.

 

The factors shaping their world are numerous. But what do teens think about their world? Consider these findings from an online poll of 501 13-year-olds:

 

·        Two-thirds said being a teenager is harder for them than it was for their parents.

·        46% believe that the U.S.

will be a worse place to live in when they are their parents’ age than it is now.

 

·        53% said they get along “excellent” with their parents, but 61% said the same of their relationships with friends.

 

·        Sibling relationships did not fare as well – 42% reported a “good” relationship with brothers/sisters.

 

·        53% feel their parents are “very involved” in their lives.

 

·        68% feel their parents have “the right amount” of involvement in their lives.

 

·        50% say their parents’ treatment of them is “a little too strict.”

 

·        26% would give their school an “A” grade; 45% a “B” grade.

 

·        25% said they had started dating, and 27% believe ages 12-13 is the right age to start dating.

 

·        44% said their parents think ages 16-17 is the right time to start dating.

 

·        60% believe people should wait until they are married to have sex.

 

·        22% spend 3-5 hours a week on schoolwork; 40% spend over 8 hours a week on schoolwork. 

 

Gibbs tries to shed light on these numbers by citing more comparative observations:

 

·        13 year-olds today are exposed to adult images in the media earlier than 50 years ago. But these same teens delay adult experiences and responsibilities (such as marriage) until much later than their parents did.

 

·        Today’s 13 year-olds are less likely to smoke, drink, do drugs, get pregnant, commit a crime, or drop out of school than their parent’s generation in the 1970s.

 

·        The birthrate for girls under 14 has been cut in half since 1953.

 

·        In 1978 the average family income was $15,064 (equaling about $45,000 today), the average family home was 1,755 sq. ft., and 62% of mothers with children ages 6 to 17 were in the work force.

 

·        Today’s average income hasn’t changed much. But houses are not 2,340 sq. ft. on average. And 70% of mothers with children ages 6 to 17 are working.

 

Gibbs suggests that today’s parents are more active in their children’s lives, and spending more. She implies that all of this is having a positive effect – the kids are rising to the challenges of early adulthood.

 

 

Questions for Reflection and Discussion:

 

1.      Does this report confirm your own impressions of 13 year-olds you know?

 

2.      Are there other considerable demands on this age-group in our culture?

 

3.      Are the survey results a fair representation of teens in your neighborhood, church, or school? Is an online survey biased toward one cross-section of teens?

 

4.      How can parents, teachers, or counselors be better involved in the lives of youths at this important age of transition?

 

5.      What would healthy communication look like between parents and 13 year-olds?

 

6.      Is there such a thing as ‘too much’ parental involvement?

 

7.      There article does not address the reality of today’s single-parent households. Do 13 year-olds growing up in such contexts face different pressures/stresses than their peers who’s parents are still married?

 

 

Implications:

 

Clearly the life of a 13-year-old today is highly charged. Ironically, the opportunities for independence and over-commitment among teenagers imply that more, not less, parental involvement is needed. It is all too easy for today’s parents to confuse love and parenting with spending and enabling.   

 

 

Christopher S. Yates cCYS