Kenney, C. (1993, April 6). Bad news for kids of divorce. Boston Globe, p. 64.

OVERVIEW

Family diversity in the form of increasing numbers of single parent and stepparent families does not strengthen the social fabric. It dramatically weakens and undermines society, placing new burdens on schools, courts, prisons, and the welfare system.
—Barbara Dafoe Whitehead

As the author notes, "In her lengthy article, Whitehead, a researcher at the Institute for American Values in New York, paints a frighteningly bleak portrait of children whose lives are damaged by the absence of a two parent family." The effects of divorce on children, long thought to be a freeing experience during the early 1960s, have been proven to place many long-term psychological burdens on youth.

The main thrust of the article disagrees with previous thought that children bounce back and argues with the cultural norms that validate single parenting. It reflects on the difficulties that youth experience during a divorce and on the long-term effects that they might experience. Whitehead uses the 22-year study of divorce conducted by Judy Wallerstein and the fact that divorce was once considered a positive experience to show how wrong that thought process is and to point out the realities of the situation.

In this article, Kenney quotes Ms. Whitehead often, highlighting some of the key repercussions of divorce. Kenney says, "Whitehead contends that children of divorce and children in single parent households are more likely than other children to be poor, to have emotional and behavioral problems, to drop out of school, to abuse drugs and to get in trouble with the law." In her revelatory article in the April issue of The Atlantic, Whitehead says, "Contrary to popular belief, many children do not ‘bounce back’ after divorce remarriage." She adds, "Children who grow up in single parent or stepparent families are less successful as adults, particularly in the two domains of life—love and work—that are most essential to happiness."

‘Divorce is deceptive,’ Whitehead quotes Wallerstein. "Legally it is a single event, but psychologically it is a chain—sometimes a never-ending chain—of events, relocations, and radically shifting relationships strung through time."

Whitehead continues to emphasize the issue: "In the 1950s most Americans believed that parents should stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the children...The assumption was that a divorce would damage the children." However this thought process changed in the seventies and a new attitude emerged. She emphasizes the terrible and misguided nature of this type of thinking, saying, "one of the worse consequences of these divided interests is a withdrawal of parental involvement in children’s well-being...Parents in disrupted families have less time, attention, and money to devote to their children."

The main argument of this article is that, contrary to all the evidence, divorce is often portrayed in American culture as liberating, a positive step for adults, and a condition to which children can easily adapt.

"If current trends continue," she writes, "less than half of all children born today will live continuously with their own mother and father throughout childhood. Most American children will spend several years in a single mother family." And in the United States, fully half of all single mothers live below the poverty line. The obvious conclusions from this article are the overwhelming importance to two key issues. First, it is clearly wrong for a culture to portray—through the media—that single-parent families and children born out of wedlock are normal and that there are no dangers in these experiences. Secondly, it is the responsibility of a society to understand the reality of divorce and to address these issues, focusing on children and helping them to adjust as smoothly as possible.

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION AND DISCUSSION

1. Do you think that a single-parent family is detrimental to the development of an adolescent? Why or why not?
2. What are the implications of marriage for teenagers who experience their parents’ divorce?
3. How can youth leaders and adults help in this situation? What is our responsibility?
4. What approach would you use in discussing this subject with an adolescent? What would you say? What kinds of things do you think would help?

IMPLICATIONS

The thought that one-half of American children have the possibility of living in a single-parent family has profound effects on the social fabric of U.S. society. Those working with youth have a responsibility to support, maintain, and model marriage. Youth workers must also reach out to and provide for those children who have not had the same benefit, support, and guidance. Consider "adopting" someone in this situation. Make him or her part of your family; take them places with you. In this way, they might see and experience nurturing not received at home. In youth groups, thoughtfully plan events that may require participation of the mother or father. Develop a sensitivity and awareness of the child and his or her needs.