Shasta's Story: "...working with urban youth is not only my calling but my passion as well."
Shasta Cole serves as a TechMission Corps Member at Breakthrough Urban Ministries in Chicago, Illinois
My name is Shasta Cole. I am an AmeriCorps member serving at Breakthrough Urban Ministries on the west side of Chicago. I work as an after school program coordinator with youth K-8. When I was asked to write a story about my service year, I was immediately hit with many different memories of working with my children over the past year. It is really hard to put down in words the many things I’ve learned and experienced in just one year.
There is one memory, though, that really sticks out to me. This story involves a young lady in the 8th grade. Her background is a lot like the other kids in our program; she lives in the impoverished neighborhood of EastGarfieldPark and goes to a low performing school. When I first met her, she immediately took to me because we had something in common-basketball. I played basketball throughout my life and so we would play basketball together during free-time the first couple of weeks. She and I were getting along really great…until the moment I did something she didn’t like. She realized that I wasn’t going to give her special treatment and I definitely was going to push her as much as I pushed the other children in their school work as well as their attitudes. And, she definitely didn’t like it! From around the 4th week on throughout most of the school year, she decided that she hated me and she was going to try to make me as miserable and uncomfortable as possible.
For example, whenever I was in the room with her, she went out of her way to walk around me; she also rolled her eyes at me, argued whenever I asked her to do something, and walked off if I tried to even say hi to her. She would even go as far as not to play basketball if I was joined in the game. It felt as if I could do nothing right in her eyes. Still, I tried to stay the same…knowing that consistency is very important in children’s lives. Every day, as she walked in, I would say hi to her, knowing that most likely she would ignore me and walk right on past. Daily, I would not single her out or ignore her, but I would include her in any of our discussions or assignments for the day.
Eventually, after many, many months of silent treatment and disrespect, when I would say hi to her, she would timidly say hi back. Some days, she would join in as our pick-up games would start, making sure she was always on the opposite team from me. I was also beginning to notice that when I was sitting somewhere, she would walk past me instead of going way across the room to avoid me. Then one day, towards the end of the school year, I asked her if I could help her with her math…she looked around the room to see if any other staff was there, and then agreed. We sat down and I helped her, knowing that this was a huge step forward in our relationship.
As the school year was coming to a close, I began to realize that her attitude towards me was changing ever so slightly. And, although I tried to not act like it, I was so relieved! After our after school program ended and a couple of weeks off, summer studies started. It was like a complete 180 degree change. During the summer, she wanted to talk to me and hang out. I soon realized that I was becoming someone she liked and could trust.
And, I think I know why…the whole reason was not because I gave her special treatment or tried to get her to like me. It was because from day one, I was consistent with her. I tried to never treat her any different or change my behavior towards her just because she didn’t like me. And, because of this, I think this young lady realized that she could trust me and that I was going to treat her with respect, no matter what.
This experience, along with a million others, has taught me so much. It has taught me to love others even when they don’t love you back. It has taught me that no matter how much someone doesn’t like you, you still have to show them kindness, respect, and consistency. Because of her complete disdain for me for many months, I became a better youth worker and more importantly, a better person.
And now, when I see her walk into our center, I will see a smile creep across her face. She’ll probably ask me for headphones (she loves to listen to music) or we’ll chat about last night’s softball game, or maybe we’ll just sit, play cards, and laugh. But, most importantly, I know that when she looks at me, she sees someone she can trust and when I look at her, I will see someone who has grown so much in only a year. If it wasn’t for AmeriCorps, I wouldn’t be who I am now, I wouldn’t have met such a wonderful young lady who could teach me things beyond her years, and I wouldn’t be completely sure that working with urban youth is not only my calling but my passion as well.
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