Expect more of them.

Eat with them.

Keep an eye on them.

Three simple ideas that experts say will make a difference in whether your child does well in school and avoids trouble with drugs and alcohol. Not exactly rocket science but then, hey, I am one that thinks that the best ideas are the most simple ones.

Eat together as a family as often as possible. Studies have shown that kids who eat four or more meals a week with their family do better in school than those who eat less than two meals together per week. Obviously spending time together is going to improve any relationship and eating meals together provides that time together. It also provides an opportunity to demonstrate table manners to your children. You can learn more about what is going on in their lives by asking about their day. Eating at home also generally provides better nutrition than restaurants which feature larger portions that may have higher fat content. Even if you are eating takeout, make sure you all come together and eating as a family. You will be surprised at all the unexpected benefits of such a simple idea.

Expect more of them. Whether in regards to grades and school, or avoiding negative and destructive behaviors, parents expectations can have a significant impact. Parents should expect their child to do well and provide the tools and encouragement to succeed. If we believe they can do it, they will believe it as well. Parents need to expect their children to make healthy and moral choices. Expect that your child will avoid having sex before marriage. Expect them to avoid alcohol until they are of age. Expect them to avoid drugs. Most importantly though, talk to your child about these issues and make your expectations clear. Understand the very challenging environment they have to navigate through everyday, but support them and expect them to make the right choice. Especially if a parent did not make those healthy choice themselves, it is important to establish higher expectations for their children. Millions of people abstain from teenage sex, alcohol and drugs, your child can do it just as well, and they will be better for it.

Keep an eye on your kids. It is shocking I know, but 50% of kids(12-17 years old)  that stay out until past 10PM on school nights report that alcohol and drugs use is involved. Ok, maybe just the fact that kids are staying out that late on school nights was shocking to me. You can’t supervise kids if you can’t see them. Knowing where they are and who they are with are extremely important. Try to control the environment. Make your home an inviting place for your child and their friends. Kids need the opportunity to socialize with the friends but they also need to be supervised while they do it, so they don’t do it. Personally, I think kids should be home with their family on a school night, but when they do go out, I want to know whose house they will be at, who will be there, and I need to know that a parent will be there.

Raising kids is not easy, but that is probably why it is so rewarding. Parents are the single greatest factor that determines the values a child will have and the choices they will make. Take that responsibility seriously and be proactive. You are the parent, you get to set the rules. It won’t always be easy or pleasant but it will always be worth it to protect what is the most valuable gift God has given you, a child.