Interracial Dating and Marriage: Does It Really Aid In The Race Reconciliation Process?

When one finds true love, one may believe that the love they have for the other person is capable of moving mountains.  Because of this belief, they want to shout their love at the top of their lungs; they may even desire to demonstrate it through public affection [i.e.--hand holding, kissing and cuddling, etc.]  Because this love is so huge, there may even be a chance of the both of them successfully challenging societal norms, including norms inherent within the system of racism.

However, what if an interracial relationship potentially reflects the values inherent in the system of racism?  Further, though the arrangement can be interpreted as love, what if that love is built upon the systematic belief that one race is better than another?  In instances where this is the case, interracial dating--not to mention marriage--cannot necessarily be viewed as a catalyst for change; rather, it can be viewed as a reflection of the oppressive nature of racism—a system that often forces us to look at beauty within a race-dominated paradigm that creates an even bigger disparity not only within minority communities, but in majority based communities as well.

This sentiment is echoed in the Q and A section of the Scarleteen website (www.scarleteen.com).  In response to a question posed by someone who was accused of being a racist—simply because she was not attracted to someone that was a different race than herself—a columnist asserts the following:

…Sometimes attraction to other races can be racist. Some people see those of other races as objects -- as inhuman or less than human -- and their attraction is not about inclusion or any real connection, but about dominance or power found in racism, the way that many slave owners were "attracted" to their slaves. Some people fetishize racism or people of various races, or try to make interracial attractions, sex or relationships seem like they're about a lack of racism when it's actually about playing right into or enabling racism.

Though this quote discusses white prejudice (which is a by-product of racism, not actually racism itself) — within the interracial dating paradigm, prejudice—not racism—within interracial relationships can also be fostered and cultivated by minorities.  For example, in the Autobiography of Malcolm X, as told to Alex Haley; Malcolm X discusses how he and his friend Shorty involved themselves in interracial relationships not because they were blindly in love with these women, but because it was an opportunity for them to exercise and manipulate power over the historically dominant and ruling [White American] class.  Though this was the case, Malcolm X also admitted that his involvement was due to a socialized misconception that white women were the most sought after commodity to have—not only because of their beauty and stature—but also because of their perceived wealth.  This perceived wealth—according to Malcolm X—could presumably generate new—and possibly additional—wealth for any minority that sexually aligns themselves with a member of this majority.  However, this thinking process—a process, as Malcolm X and the Alex Haley both assert occurs as a consequence of systematic racism—is a system that was created and established by and for white men.

Yet keep in mind that while Malcolm X—and the time he lived in—is literally no more, the system established to uphold racism and the attitudes therein still exist today.  Consequently, the very thing that Malcolm X outlines about some (not all) who interracially date and marry still holds true today.   To better illustrate this claim, Wikipedia.com claims that though White Americans are the least likely to marry interracially, they are—in absolute terms—involved in interracial marriages more than other racial groups are.  This suggests that—in one way or another—this group is the most sought after mate to acquire within the interracial paradigm.  In this sense, if interracial relationships suggest the exclusion of racism and prejudice, then why are Whites—particularly White Americans—the most likely candidate to be involved in interracial relationships?  It is pretty fair to assume that this preference is based on a pre-existing belief that having a white companion—specifically a white female companion—is the best companion to have because of preconceived notions established and upheld by the systematic oppression inherent in racism.  These preconceived notions are actually prejudicial in nature, and could very well be based on stereotypes that are highly coveted by both parties involved in the interracial relationship.

In addition, Diane Swanbrow, author of “Intimate Relations Between Races More Common Than Thought,” also asserts that though the rates of interracial cohabitation are significantly higher than interracial marriages, 13 percent of cohabitating African American men have Caucasian American female partners, despite only 7 percent of African American men actually having Caucasian American wives (as cited by Wikipedia.org).   Swanbrow further contends that this is in contrast to the 25 percent of married Asian American women who have Caucasian spouses, and 45 percent of cohabitating Asian American women who have Caucasian American men— a percentage higher than Caucasian women who choose to cohabitate with Asian men (44 percent) (as cited by Wikipedia.org).   Based on these statistics, Wikipedia.org contends that these numbers suggest just how prevalent intimate interracial contact is greatly underestimated—particularly when research solely focuses only on interracial marriage-related data only.

Yet these numbers also allude to how sought after Whites (particularly White Americans) are within the interracial dating/marriage paradigm.  However, this is not to say that interracial dating and marriage—in and of it self—is problematic.  If individuals from different races decide to become romantically involved on the basis of love and companionship—and not because of the stereotypical belief that there are biologically, sexual, social, and economical advantages to romantically involving oneself with someone of another race or ethnicity—then this can be considered a good start toward developing a more holistic, cultural understanding of someone from a different race or ethnicity. 

Yet regardless if one seeks to become more racially enlightened by dating someone of a different race than themselves, it is still important to question why Whites—particularly White Americans—are viewed as the most sought after mate in the interracial dating/marriage cannon.  Once this question arises, it is even more important to ask how can this preference be changed or altered—hence eliminating intimate relationships that are established on a prejudicial premise. 

For those that simply refuse to believe (or perhaps may find it too painful to believe) that this type of prejudicial thinking exist, it is important to also wonder if this type of race-based preference is based solely on choice, or purely based on influences related to systematically influenced racial stereotyping and prejudice.  In this sense, there may be a possibility that this kind of racially based companionship may not necessarily be because of love or an attempt to better understand the culture of another—rather, it could be facilitated by preconceived prejudices and biases held by both parties. 

References:

Alex Haley.  Autobiography of Malcolm X:  As told to Alex Haley.  Ballantine Publishing Group:  New York 1965.

Scarleteen website.  www.scarleteen.com

Interracial Marriage.  Wikipedia website.  www.wikipedia.com