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Racy radio jolts parents

(1996, November 12). "Racy radio jolts parents: Lyrics, banter on jam’n reaching many youths." The Boston Globe, p. 12.

OVERVIEW

One Boston station, WJMN, 94.5 FM, commands 37% of the 12-to-17-year-old radio audience. Research shows that more than 150,000 teenagers, and many thousands of preteens who escape the ratings chart, turn to "Jam’n" every morning. Nine- to twelve-year-olds are arguing with their parents that this station should be the household staple and easy listening in the family van.

Wednesday, Nov 6th, 8:02 am "a moan-filled ode by a lusty pair of female vocalists" sings:

Do you mind if I stroke you up?

Don’t mind.

Do you mind if I stroke you down?

Don’t mind.

All through the night.

Until your body’s high....

Make it come in. Does it feel good? C’mon

Up and down, up and down, Oh yes....

—"Stroke You Up" by Changing Faces, Big Beat Records, Inc.

At 8:08 a.m., listeners hear:

...Any way you want it, girl

Let’s spend an hour/in the shower

When it’s nice and wet/Ready for your love...I like it

Any way you want it, girl/Hit me off

Come hit me with the flavor/Let me taste it, baby.

Fifth grader Andrew Avorn, admits he doesn’t know why the singers in these songs moan. Thirteen-year-old Kerry White understands it, and says she adores "Jam’n." She knows the song, "Stroke You Up," and she sang a few lines to prove it. When asked what in the song was getting stroked, she blushed and fell silent.

One recent morning, the male and female co-hosts—"Baltazar" and "Pebbles"—took several minutes to discuss whether or not a man can figure out if a woman is faking orgasm. Another time they simulated the sounds of orgasm while making fun of Michael Jackson.

Consider this response to the article from a 10-year-old (as printed in the Globe on November 15, 1996):

I am writing to you about your article on Jam’n. I wake up to this station every morning and listen to it whenever I listen to the radio.

When I listen and hear about sex or hear swears, I don’t think about it and it doesn’t have an effect on me. Although some songs are suggestive, there is loud background music, and many of the lyrics adults are complaining about are not even heard.

I also think that 10- to 12-year-olds should know about sex and know that you don’t just go out and do it. Sex is just a sensation that adults have and that everyone is aware of.

I also want to remind you that this is America. Although you are our parents and have some control over us, I think we should be able to make up our minds on a simple subject like this.

There is also a popularity reason. If you listen to Jam’n you are considered cool. If we all listen to the same radio station, we also have something to talk about. They play cool morning shows and have great DJs. I also think you picked out New Edition’s only bad song. I personally think Jam’n is a great station and it should stay exactly the same.
—Abby Bradlee, age 10, Reading, MA

The difference between the sex of the 1950s’ Sinatra, 1960s’ Elvis, and 1980s’ Marvin Gaye, "is the explicitness and frequency with which the popular culture today glorifies superficial sex."

Says child psychologist Dr. Alvin Poussaint of Harvard Medical School:

‘This is music that prematurely legitimizes sex. The music says, "Go out and do it. Then find someone else and do it again.’

There’s no message of responsibility or abstinence. Children are being exploited and we have no idea where that’s going to leave the next generation.

Dean Borgman cCYS

To enhance and build relationships between adolescents and their parents through interaction.

To enhance and build relationships between adolescents and their parents through interaction.

OVERVIEW

LEADER PREPARATION

  • Choose themes to focus on (frustrating vacations, growing up, neglected relationships, celebrating each other, sharing deeply, etc.).
  • Prepare opening songs, mixers, skits, and games that will be used.
  • Print "manhunt" mixer sheets and bring plenty of sharpened pencils.
  • Select pertinent movie clips for to generate material for discussion questions (e.g., "Vacation," "Parenthood," "Dad.")
  • Prepare discussion questions from the movie that will generate thought and responses from parents and kids.
  • Have stamped envelopes and paper ready for letters. Also have self-addressed, stamped evaluation cards ready.

GROUP BUILDING

The basic flow of the meeting should be similar to a typical club or youth group meeting. Start by singing some fast oldies like "Hound Dog" or "Blue Suede Shoes" to set a fun mood. Next, lead a mixer. A good idea is to print up a "manhunt" sheet that will describe people that everyone will have to find and get their signatures. For example, you may have to find someone who has had a flat tire on a vacation, another who can hum the "Brady Bunch" theme, or another who has had a surprise birthday party in the past few years. Think of twelve to eighteen descriptions and print them on sheet. The first one with all the signatures wins! This game is also know as "Human Bingo," and cards can be done as a bingo card.

After the mixer, have everyone sing Harry Chapin’s "Cat’s in the Cradle." This will be discussed later.

GROUP DISCUSSION

Mention the power of the last song sung and how it should stimulate feelings about our families. Inform the group that they will get a chance to talk about these feelings in family groups later.

Move then to the prepared movie clips and show important family-related clips from "Vacation," "Dad," and "Parenthood." Encourage the audience to think of similarities and differences within their own families.

GROUP DISCUSSION

After the clips have ended, have everyone get into their family groups. Hand out a prepared question sheet to each group and allow them fifteen minutes to discuss the answers. Here are some suggested questions to ask about the film clips:

  • When has your family had a "Vacation" catastrophe? What happened? How did each person of the family react? What is your greatest vacation memory?
  • Have you as a parent sometimes felt too busy to spend quality time with your child? Have you as a son or daughter ever felt like you were less than number one on your parent’s priority list? How can we all work to make our family members a priority?
  • What have you held (are holding) inside that you have always wanted to tell your dad? Your mother? Your child? How can we work toward being more open with our love and frustrations?
  • When, if ever, have you had a surprise birthday party? How did or would it feel?

EVALUATION AND FOLLOW UP

After the discussion, have everyone spend five minutes writing his or her parent or child a letter of whatever may be on his or her heart. Have them place it in a provided envelope, address it, and hand it back to you (the youth leader) to be mailed back in two weeks. When you mail the letters, include a self-analysis stamped evaluation card asking questions concerning the effectiveness of the meeting, what changes have taken place in their families, and what they would change about the meeting.

IMPLICATIONS

  1. In a day when most teens have very few significant adults to whom they feel close, the role of the parent becomes even more important in the socialization of their children.
  2. Adolescence is naturally a tough time on a teen and on a family. Youth workers must become involved with the kid as well as his or her family to be most effective.
  3. Teens want to break away from and feel trapped by "oppressive" parents. Parents want to hold onto the control of their "little ones." Youth workers need to provide the families of our kids with a positive way to grow together, to communicate more effectively and to enjoy one another.

Anne Montague cCYS

A Guide to Involving Parents in your After-school Program (Catrina LaBrie 07-08)

 

Member Name:Catrina LaBrie

Service Site: The Boston Project

Site Location: Boston, MA

Project Description:

Catrina's year-long project includes both a PowerPoint presentation and a guide on how to involve parents in after-school programs. Catrina's guidebook provides simple ways to involve parents and guardians in your after-school program as well as how to support them. Her guidebook also covers topics such as:

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At parenting sites, credibility is the concern

Meltz, B.F. (2000, January 13). At parenting sites, credibility is the concern. The Boston Globe, pp. E1, 4, 5.

OVERVIEW

In preparing to write this article, the writer selected Yahoo! to find out answers for an inquiry she had received on thumb-sucking. She found four possibilities: one for adult thumb-suckers, a second a book advertisement…and then two porn sites. Bed-wetting brought up ten choices including a definition, chat rooms, and "free" consultation with a doctor which would actually cost $475. Her lesson learned: forget the search engines.

Consulted experts recommend that parents avoid easy question and answer formats that purport to give advice; "the best parenting sites offer information and research, not advice." Unidentified "experts" should be read cautiously and chat rooms may waste a good bit of your time.

Early-childhood Internet guru and curriculum coordinator at the Sharing Place Child Care Center in Orono, Maine, Bonnie Blagojevic, has some good general advice for parents. " ‘Look at the reputation of the group offering the information. A reputable site immediately spells out its goal or purpose and identifies the author and sponsoring organization. If there’s a bias, a reputable site will tell you so right away.’ "

 

Blagofevic also recommends ListServ discussion groups, "which are like chat rooms except that they are not instantaneous." You can find Blagojevic’s Early Childhood Education On Line. You can subscribe to this at no charge by sending e-mail to LISTSERV@Maine.edu and typing subscribe ECEOL-L and your name in the message field.

Here are some sites recommended to parents:

www.npn.org This site of the National Parent Information Network is sponsored by ERIC and funded by the US Department of Education. This is the world’s largest database for teachers and parents.

www.zerotothree.org This is sponsored by a national nonprofit for the benefit of parents with children 0-3.

www.umaine.edu/edhd This is mostly for teachers but plenty here for parents as well.

www.naeye.org The National Association for the Education of Young Children is the nations most respected accrediting organization for day care and preschool.

www.nmsa.org The National Middle School Association offers research materials for parents of 10-14 year olds.

www.indiana.edu/~cafs Center for Adolescent Studies at Indiana University. Click on "Sites for Parents," Parenting Adolescents," and "Archives." 

www.ldonline.org LDOnline is sponsored by the Learning Project of WETA-TV and radio Washington, DC and the Coordinated Campaign for Learning Disabilities.

www.familyeducation.com Family Education Network for parents and teachers. Too much advertising and too complicated but it contains good information.

www.aap.org

  •  The American Academy of Pediatrics is a definitive site for health information.

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION AND DISCUSSION

  1. Can you see how this Encyclopedia, though containing far less material than many other sites, is a first-stop beginning for research covering a vast field and pointing you in more specific directions?
  2. What do you need to know? Who can best help you with you question or with advice on where to search for your answers?
  3. Are you most confused about parenting or using the Internet?

IMPLICATIONS

  • If your questions are primarily about parenting, we hope you can find answers in our Encyclopedia and the links and sources we have passed on to you. Realize that counselors and local pastors can also turn you in helpful directions.
  • If you realize there is important information on the Internet but don’t know how to use it, ask those with more experience, especially young people, for help.
  • For additional help regarding how to use our Encyclopedia or the Internet you might email us at cys@centerforyouth.org 

Dean Borgman cCYS


Helping children cope with divorce

 

Mott, S. (ed.). (1985). Therapeutic guidelines for helping children cope with divorce. In The nursing care of children and families. Addison-Wesley.

OVERVIEW

This article offers helpful suggestions for dealing with children experiencing divorce:

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Child-friendly divorce

 

Sure, M.D. (1997, August 26). Child-friendly divorce: Counselors try to keep kids together when families fall apart. The Washington Post, WH10.

OVERVIEW

We live in a society of broken promises and vows; one in every two marriages in the United States ends in divorce. The two partners immediately involved in a divorce obviously experience major life change and often face associated suffering. However, researchers have found that children of separated couples are often more significantly affected by divorce than their parents.

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Parent-adolescent relations in adolescents whose parents are divorced.

  

Smollar, J. & Youniss, J. (1985). Parent-adolescent relations in adolescents whose parents are divorced. Journal of Early Adolescence, 5, pp. 129-144.

OVERVIEW

Analysis of the results of a questionnaire given to forty-eight students at a middle class high school whose parents are divorced.

 

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Helping teenagers discuss their feelings about divorce

 

To help teenagers discuss their feelings about divorce.

OVERVIEW

Children of divorce suffer both emotionally and psychologically, and these effects flow into adult relationships. Teenagers need to discuss their deepest hurts, so that they might face the pain before it emerges unexpectedly in the future.

 

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Dealing with the loss of a parent through divorce

 

 

To address the need for intervention in the pain and the loss of a parent through divorce.

OVERVIEW

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Volunteer Opportunities: Families

Title Organization Name City, State/Country
Smoke Signals (First Nations Canada) InterAct Ministries
Boring, OR
United States
Ministry Assistants The Haven Church
Stapleford
United Kingdom
Title Organization Name
Adopt-A-Family The Salvation Army of Greater Cleveland
all area of support need/open Imagery Center for Youth and Family Service
Directors of Family Life Promised Land International, Inc.
Sponsor a food drive The Salvation Army
HOUSE PARENTS & SUPPORT WORKERS Gilead Foundations
Telephone prayer partner Christian Hope Network
ADMINISTRATORS Gilead Foundations
Development Director: Grant Writer, Event Coordinator Holy Family Services
Life Coaching Program Director Kingdom Expansion Enterprises Inc
Grant Writer Needed The Morlock Foundation, Inc.
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