Anger

"Don't sin by letting anger control you. Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry." Ephesians 4:26

As women, we tend to one of two things with our anger. The first is we let everyone know every time we are angry over any little thing. The second is we bottle it up inside until it overflows, and then we snap. Both of these responses are wrong, and are detrimental to our relationships with others. By nitpicking every detail, we become controlling and overbearing. By bottling it up and exploding later we become frightening and out of control to those around us. What we need to do is pick our battles wisely, enter them calmly, and get our point across without demeaning the other person/people. It is difficult, if not impossible on our own. Which is why we need to turn to God when we are angry. I'd like to offer some tips on how to effectively deal with anger:

The first thing to do is walk away. I know this can be difficult, especially when dealing with small children. My sister tells her daughter when she is upset that she needs "mommy time" and leaves for a couple of minutes. When dealing with kids, this is pretty much all the time you can afford. When you leave, pray. Go to your room or another part of the house where you can quietly pray. Ask the Lord for His guidance and what He wants you to do in this situation. After you have prayed, count to ten and calm down. Yelling and screaming only worsens the situation. If it is someone older like a spouse or friend, take more time to pray and ask the Lord for His guidance. But don't take too long. Ten minutes should be enough. Staying away for a long time only gives you a chance to stew in your anger and could potentially make the situation worse.

When you come back, calmly but firmly explain why you are upset, and allow the other person to explain their side as well. When they do this, listen. Don't tune them out and automatically assume they are in the wrong. It could be something as simple as miscommunication, and the point is not to hurt the other person's feelings. If this is your aim, then you need to get away and pray some more for the Lord to change your attitude. Finally, don't leave the discussion without coming to a conclusion. If it is a small child and involves some form of punishment, don't punish in anger. Punish what is appropriate to the situation. But also remember that too weak of a punishment or no punishment at all is also dangerous in the long term. If it is someone older, don't leave the conversation angry and upset. This only breeds bitterness and resentment, and will strain the relationship in the long term.

I hope this helps you in your communaction of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. God bless and have a wonderful day!