Submitted by Dee (not verified) on Mon, 02/02/2009 - 16:05.
Anonymous,
Naked pictures??? What? I do hope you are kidding. Why did your wife get married if she didn't want to have a mutually fulfilling physical relationship?
Your wife needs to discuss this with her gynecologist. Sex should not be painful. How was your sex life initially? Did you have foreplay? Did you help her to have an orgasm so that she would also enjoy sex? Was your wife abused as a child? There are multiple issues that could be happening, and you should seek out a professional. What's your part in all of this? If she refuses to go, you go alone! This might show her how serious you are about saving your marriage. You really need to have some honest and candid discussions with your wife about this issue. It is a HUGE issue in your marriage and this will leave a huge opportunity for disaster if you do not find a resolution.
Also, why would you agree to bring children into a marriage that does not fulfill you sexually? Do you think this issue will get better or worse over time, now that there is the added stress of a child? I suggest that you tell her that you will not agree to have any more children with her until she talks with her doctor and a counselor about this issue. I also suggest marriage counseling for both of you with a licensed marriage and family therapist, seperate from individual counseling that she needs.
It is unfair of your wife to close off this part of her, but she needs to discover why she is closed off. With kids and life, there are times that it is okay to decline sex, but it is difficult to be rejected by your spouse consistently for such a long time. This rejection can and does lead to affairs. I DO NOT condone having an affair, but I know the pain of rejection can drive someone to have an affair. Your wife needs to be reminded of this fact, before more damage is done. You now have a child to consider in all of this...a child who needs an intact, loving, two parent family.
I am a woman and I like sex very much (I am also a professional in the mental health field). I can honestly tell you that I didn't always like sex...I had to learn my own body and what things gave me pleasure. My husband and I discovered those things together and it has made our relationship that much better. I do have some advice for your wife: read the book 'The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage', by Dr. Laura Schlesinger. I would also encourage you to read it. Perhaps it can open a dialogue for both of you.
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Anonymous, Naked
Anonymous,
Naked pictures??? What? I do hope you are kidding. Why did your wife get married if she didn't want to have a mutually fulfilling physical relationship?
Your wife needs to discuss this with her gynecologist. Sex should not be painful. How was your sex life initially? Did you have foreplay? Did you help her to have an orgasm so that she would also enjoy sex? Was your wife abused as a child? There are multiple issues that could be happening, and you should seek out a professional. What's your part in all of this? If she refuses to go, you go alone! This might show her how serious you are about saving your marriage. You really need to have some honest and candid discussions with your wife about this issue. It is a HUGE issue in your marriage and this will leave a huge opportunity for disaster if you do not find a resolution.
Also, why would you agree to bring children into a marriage that does not fulfill you sexually? Do you think this issue will get better or worse over time, now that there is the added stress of a child? I suggest that you tell her that you will not agree to have any more children with her until she talks with her doctor and a counselor about this issue. I also suggest marriage counseling for both of you with a licensed marriage and family therapist, seperate from individual counseling that she needs.
It is unfair of your wife to close off this part of her, but she needs to discover why she is closed off. With kids and life, there are times that it is okay to decline sex, but it is difficult to be rejected by your spouse consistently for such a long time. This rejection can and does lead to affairs. I DO NOT condone having an affair, but I know the pain of rejection can drive someone to have an affair. Your wife needs to be reminded of this fact, before more damage is done. You now have a child to consider in all of this...a child who needs an intact, loving, two parent family.
I am a woman and I like sex very much (I am also a professional in the mental health field). I can honestly tell you that I didn't always like sex...I had to learn my own body and what things gave me pleasure. My husband and I discovered those things together and it has made our relationship that much better. I do have some advice for your wife: read the book 'The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage', by Dr. Laura Schlesinger. I would also encourage you to read it. Perhaps it can open a dialogue for both of you.
Best of luck!